03 3 / 2014
"For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
F. Scott Fitzgerald (via itsmicca)
27 2 / 2014
Classes are not easy. Balance is difficult. Dreams change. Life is a struggle.
I have a tendency to expect too much from myself and others. I’ve learned to tame the latter, and the former is a daily struggle, and one that I’m continually working on. Learning to accept mistakes without driving myself insane over small things is a work in progress. I think that may sound a little arrogant to most, but I think a lot of my closest friends understand what I’m intending to say.
It sounds so positive. So beautiful. So naive. After all, it’s a belief and yearning for what is ideal and perfect. I think I’ve struggled with maintaining friendships in the past because I expected others to be so perfect, while I was clearly not the poster child for a “best friend.” I’m not the best at empathy. I don’t know the right things to say. And frequently, I can be very selfish. Yet, I expected my friends to always say, do, act the way I wanted. Anything short of ideal- I would act rashly and sever relations. (Granted, most of this was in elementary and middle school)
Of course, there are the cliches that “our friends aren’t perfect” and “we aren’t perfect,” and “we shouldn’t expect our friends to be perfect.” But there’s also another extreme when we surround ourselves with people who make us feel like shit. I’ve also gone down that path before, and those experiences continue to affect me.
So we require a healthy dose of idealism and reality when it comes to friendship- with others and ourselves. Our friends are not perfect, but our true friends are there for us at the perfect times. They send us that letter or care package when we’re having the worst day. They send us a hug gif when we were feeling alone. They reach out to us when we really need them. They send us ridiculous snapchats when we’re falling asleep in lecture. I’m so grateful for these friends.
I think what I’m trying to say is that none of us are perfect friends. We’ll all get busy, grumpy, selfish, jealous, etc. Sometimes we’ll hurt one another without even knowing it. But I’m reminded how blessed I am to have such beautiful friends who are there for me in the moments I need them the most, even if they don’t know how much it means to me.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.” ~A.A. Milne
06 2 / 2014
Why do we say “good” like it’s a bad thing? Why is “wholesome” so bad?
It just makes me wonder what we’ll think of ourselves in 20, 30 years.
03 2 / 2014
Every time I listen to “love is an open door,” I die a little. Not because it’s cute, but literally I laugh and cry at the same time because of how cheesy it is. Yes, the love is an open door concept is great, but it is ironic that they’re singing about how love is an open door, yet they’re so quick to shut that door with marriage. Perhaps this demonstrates our underlying (or perhaps blatant) obsession with security through relationships that we do not allow ourselves to keep our hearts open and instead find every opportunity to label.
In other news, I’m tired.